# Making Harvard Home August 09, 2024 ## Making Harvard Home #### Blogpost by Purvaja Modak As I contemplated my move to Cambridge to accompany my husband when he got accepted into the Harvard Kennedy School (HKS), my first thought was – *‘What will I do there’? ‘Should I quit my full-time job to accompany him for the year or should I just visit twice in the year instead?*’ As a spouse coming on a F2 dependent visa, I could neither pursue full time studies, nor take up a paid job. ‘*I don’t know anyone there; how will I manage without any familiar faces around?*’ - These thoughts gripped my mind and were holding me back from taking what in retrospect was the best decision of my life – coming to Cambridge for a year. Okay, maybe the second-best, after marrying my husband! My family encouraged me to take a leap of faith and experience the Harvard ecosystem from my unique vantage point – of being a spouse of a full-time student. I was also lucky to have an understanding boss, who knew what it meant to be at Harvard and encouraged me to move. ![Purvaja HSSPA1](/sites/g/files/omnuum11501/files/styles/hwp_1_1__360x360_scale/public/hsspa/files/purvaja_modak_hsspa.jpg?itok=I9uuTpHQ) Walks along the Charles River, watching the rowers sail by, dinners with classmates, experiencing the museums and libraries, watching the Red Sox play at Fenway, strolling through Harvard Yard and taking a photograph with John Harvard, Friday Quorum calls at school, Diwali, Iftar and Christmas parties, birthday parties, cultural nights – all these are a part of the Harvard experience. Harvard is truly unique in many ways – Most importantly, it has created an ecosystem for the families of students to thrive and make the most of their time on campus. Spouses can take classes, attend seminars and engage with professors, children can go to schools in the neighborhood and to playgrounds and parks across Boston. While this sounded great back in April 2022, it also seemed distant and difficult to access while I was still back in India. I had no idea who to reach out to and how to engage with people in a city I had never been to before. That is when the Harvard resources shared a link to the Facebook page of the Harvard Students, Spouses and Partners Association (HSSPA). HSSPA, founded nearly a century ago, has been a platform for spouses and partners of Harvard students to find those that sail in the same boat as them, to share experiences, make friends outside the student cohort and support each other during their time at Harvard. I was so excited to join. I knew I would find people of my own there and sent in my application right way. That’s when I saw a photograph of three men, Abhishek Suryavanshi, Nakul Jain and Wayne VanderKoogh who met up for coffee before the official HSSPA events commenced for the academic year. I became the fourth member of the cohort of 2023. When I reached Cambridge, while I was not fully confident what to say to three complete strangers, I met them for the first time for an ice cream at Harvard Yard and the rest is history! ![barbeque at Danehy Park](/sites/g/files/omnuum11501/files/styles/hwp_1_1__720x720_scale/public/2025-06/unnamed.jpg?itok=E4D1MKZj) This was followed by a barbeque at Danehy Park where I first truly saw the strength and convening power of HSSPA. I met so many students and spouses that day – some of whom I have become good friends. Nakul then introduced the Food and Culture group – and that really took my interest. With the mandate of gathering members to share their favorite dishes, along with stories from their culture and heritage, I knew that this group will be a success, right from the word Go! While my limited leadership and culinary skills kept me from taking the lead, I attended the meet ups regularly and enjoyed being sous-chef to the chefs of the day – from different countries like India, Brazil, Argentina and Australia. Finally on March 4, 2023, I decided to step up to the game and volunteered to showcase two Indian dishes that I hold close to my heart – Chicken Keema and Rajma, with white rice. We also threw in some surprise masala potatoes at the end. These dishes were comfort food for me, when it rained, during the gloomy, snowy days in Boston, when I was unwell or simply when I missed my mom. ![Purvaja Coiking Group Pic](/sites/g/files/omnuum11501/files/styles/hwp_1_1__720x720_scale/public/hsspa/files/hsspa_purvaja_food_group_pic.jpg?itok=a6RFn_0W) While we planned on cooking for 12-15 people, 23 showed up and I panicked (internally). Ably backed by some lovely sous-chefs who helped with chopping and cleaning before and after, we had a blast as we prepared a great meal, sufficient for everyone who came. We then sat around a long table and shared the meal along with some wine and fun stories about dishes, ingredients and food habits from our different countries. Since then, it became my resolve to not miss a single Food and Culture meet. This is the amazing spirit of Harvard – it is a melting pot of cultures, ethnicities, languages, experiences and stories from around the world. And what can be a better way to express it, than food! My year at Harvard ended in May 2023, and as I still say – ‘*I survived my husband’s Master’s degree!!!*”. I owe a lot of it to my engagements with HSSPA. I got a chance to meet up with many who are just like me, who came to Harvard with so many questions about how it will be like and who found their way over time. ![HSSPA Group photo 2023](/sites/g/files/omnuum11501/files/styles/hwp_1_1__720x720_scale/public/hsspa/files/hsspa_grouo_photo_2023.jpg?itok=DmWlbZqH) Over coffee, meals and other group activities, we have spoken about our feelings when we first moved here and how the year has turned out for us, as we moved across continents to support our spouses through this very unique year of our lives! We made new friends, set up our temporary homes here, took classes, hosted dinners, made mistakes, felt gloomy during the harsh Boston winter and learnt so much from our cohort mates and friends. It is so nice to meet and talk to those who are feeling exactly what you are going through. I have learnt so much from this rich experience. I have grown up, in so many ways. While HSSPA helped me connect with those who are like me, HKS gave me a chance to stay academically engaged. I audited five classed at HKS and continued my research work. I learnt how to run a home, do groceries, host friends at home and take care of myself, away from family. I found time this year to work on myself - personally, professionally, academically and intellectually. I knew I had to do my bit to give back to the community. So, under the auspices of HSSPA, I [started the Auditing group](/blog/embrace-lifelong-learning-hsspa-auditing-group). It is a platform for spouses of full-time students to ask questions and get their doubts clarified about the process of auditing classes across the schools at Harvard. How to choose from the plethora of courses offered at Harvard, how to approach a professor, how to get your Harvard ID (HUID) made, how to get access to course material – we discuss it all, with the hope of giving incoming students the clarity we were seeking when we first came in. This blogpost is for all those new members of HSSPA, who are now at the same point I was before I arrived in Cambridge, excited, yet nervous about all the possibilities ahead. Those who come to Harvard with the sole conviction of supporting their spouse/partner through an academically crucial year, and who will definitely find their way as the year moves along, and return to their countries with rich experiences, many friends and lots of new life skills. It is all about making Harvard home! ![Prvaja with Akshay at Food and culture Group](/sites/g/files/omnuum11501/files/styles/hwp_1_1__360x360_scale/public/hsspa/files/purvaja_akshay_hsspa_pic.png?itok=3UVemUjd) ![making Harvard home](/sites/g/files/omnuum11501/files/2025-06/unnamed%20%281%29.jpg) Lots of love and light, Purvaja Modak *Spouse of Akshay Mathur* *(MC/MPA 2023, Edward Mason Fellow, HKS)*